Paula Poundstone

I'm sick maybe I made myself sick
The mind is a powerful thing
Mine is out of fucking control

New years eve
I've got an engagement
Hosting/comedy
Whatever u want 2 call it
For a friends lounge/bar/club
Tonite

I do not want 2 do it
My voice is going
I'm coughing
And nasal floudage
To the max

I'm watching paula pondstone
Bravo special from a series
3 funny ladies
Paula is a brave soul
A powerful woman
I don't think she knows

About 3 years back
I was eating in sm
Mexican resteraunt
With friends

Paula came in
With her 3 kids
Sat across the room
2 eat as a family

My friends were making me
Fight the urge 2 say hello
Needless to say
They lost

She got up
2 go to pee
I assume
I jumped

Hey I'm sure u don't know me
I said to this woman
Still outwardly suffering
From her public crusifixtion
Unjust

Im an aspiring comedian
I told this woman
Even in her darkness
Glowed brighter than ever

You are so funny
You are better than this
Get back up there
I know u have stuff 2 say
And we will listen

Thank you very much
She replied
Avoiding eye contact

Last ditch effort
As I see my friends
Bright red with embarrisment
Out of the corner of my eye

Just do it
Stand up
Joke
Make us laugh
U are worth it

She made brief contact
Eye to eye
Said maybe u r rite
Never give up
This genius told me

Never give up
A theme 4 me
More than a few
Sucessful people
I've admired
Have told me this
I still think
Of throwing in the towel
Almost daily

Paula's back
Better than ever
Funny. Laughing.
Making the world
A brighter place.

Ok now a nap
I've got 2 do it
Tonight
In spite of myself
Here we go...

Last night

Standing in line
For over an hour
Chattin' it up
With the sprinkles peps

I was in rare form
To say the least
Entertainer mode
Activated

There is no better people watching 2 me
Than standing on line in beverly hills
To get your hands on 500 calorie treats
I love it

This kid walks out
His gate off, funny face
Me, not thinking, shock
Make a comment
Inapropriate 2 say the least

Scott he's got a development disorder
A girl behind me politely wispers
No he doesn't I say, convincing myself
Sorry I think he does, his mom just gave u da bird
Tack for 5000 alex

Later in the evening
Cupcakes delivered
Gifts distributed
Calories out of my hands

Sitting in my favorite booth
At my lattest all time fav spot
With a few friends...starving
The kitchen just closed
Our could give a shit cocktail server
Tells us

I make an imediate move for the cell
Kung pao bistro on speed dial - sad but true
Chineese food on its way - 30 min or less
I go outside 2 smoke
Tell the GM I ordered food
Don't be hatin'

He rolls his eyes
Just eat behind
The curtain
Roping us off
From them
He requests
I oblidge of course

My friends say
Who do you think u r
Ordering food 2 a lounge
That sells food
Hungry was my responce
As I grab my pom martini
Which someone bought 4 me
And off I go

Need...desire...want
Fullfill
That
Is
My
Brain

I don't see it as being anything but normal

Happy 2007 World!

me vs you - a life long battle

watching ellen degenres
interviewed by diane sawyer
old interview
all good stuff

last night i crossed a line
fuck that i crossed all the lines
got drunk 4 the first time
well drunk drunk
out of control
since the whole
d-dub incident
and my sobriety period

i was rude, crude, and mean
to people i love and care about
sorry doesn't even seem to be close
to enough to express how i feel 2 them
i like to think it comes from a humorous place
telling myself what i want to believe

i mix up anger and humor a lot lately
writing like crazy, stand-up comedy
i do not work best scripted
this much i know
setups...scenarios...topics
i find being pulled from my musings

stand-up is rooted in anger
some point - exasperated view
it's the craft, the art not life
i'm searching for this balance
between my art, my life, and me

trump says he thinks rosie has issues
first of all, if u r gay & say u don't
u are lying to yourself
being gay is not a fun ride at times
u are an outcast
from the world
in u r own family

i have issues 2 resolve
things to work thru
and will till the end of time
alcohol is a mask
of which i have so many
behind which i hide
scared to come out
and say hello

authentic
real
pure
me

the morning after

xmas is over
come and gone
another year
survived

today
humbling
frustrating
liberating
4 me

boundaries held
in spite of myself
thinking i may hurt
self respect's a bitch

james brown died this am
living legend he
now gone

ok so i'm utubing
again

how do i book these guys
we need to do some #s
STAT!

merry merry

as i type this
mind u
i am in my suit
at a posh hotel
on sunset blvd

my view of the hills
and the strip
with a bonus
a view into
someone i 'know'
house

i pretty sure he's not there
someone is though
in a cap
watching tv

i'm about to go on a mission
2 sneak pug into this bitch
because what's a xmas
without a pug

tom i will do something new
serve food downtown
then 'entertain' gay youth
homeless - 1 hour i got
entertain?
i didn't ask then
now i wonder
do i need to bring crafts?

i'll just do some schteck
really gay
totally badass
shake hands
talk
interact
reach out

this holiday i can not help but remember
over 1,780,000 families will have
an empty seat
at their holiday
celebration

a war
the cost of
$352,853,208,814
rite now
according 2 my site

doesn't seem to even scratch the surface 2 me

adendum

the proof is in the pudding
all greatness in life
is connection
2 degress

i know way too much u tube

trail blazer

so tonite on u tube
waiting 4 itunes DL
bravo's funny ladies
i decide to search
joan rivers

an icon
brilliant
she
always
a hero
2 me

so by chance
i go 4 it
joanrivers.com
a hit
qvc
i'm sure
not her

joan always seemed
to distant
to far
to it
2 reach

it's her
a blog
all her
seriously
happy holidays
2 me

joanrivers.com
a legend
i'm grateful
for u

from joan's blog:
A friend of mine who is a typical New York matron, bumped into an old friend of her deceased mother’s on Madison Avenue. She invited the lady, who is 83, to tea. As they sat sipping their tea and eating their scones they began to talk about her late mother. My friend’s mother had been an artist, a philanthropist and a good church lady who lived a quiet family life. “Tell me something about my mother,” my friend asked the old dowager sitting opposite her. “Oh, your mother,” the woman said, smiled softly, “She was a slut. She was totally promiscuous and none of us trusted her. She was a man eater all her life. When she died I said that God wouldn’t trust her alone with St. Peter.”

My friend rushed home to call me. She was terribly upset, “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! My mother slept with everyone!”

After I hung up I tried to figure out how I felt about this. Frankly, I think it’s wonderful. Good that her mother had a life. Good that her mother had fun. Life goes very fast and we will all be pushing daisies much too soon.

How do you feel? Would it upset you if you found out that your mother had been a slut?

happy xmas 2 tamale

"Dinner party"

Banished 2 the smokers porch
Sole smoker at a dinner party
I should quit...quitters r loosers
Rosie odonnell n donald trump
Loosers

Well I may have 2 side with rosie
Ro not giving a fuck. Donald plugs his show.
Stupid shit

Xmas in a hotel
Here we go
Again

This time...my choice
Gona make it right

holidays

this year 4 da holidays
i'm trying hard 2 focus
on those who r no longer
with us

to realize how grateful
i must be 4 everything
and everyone i have got
in my life

this u tube clip hillarious
someone now gone
but always
with us

today i got the best gift
stay & spa @ the modorian hotel
from my agents and such
gratitude

i will waste no time
i'm booking my suit
x-mas eve 4 all of us
2 get to gather
in peace

real world

-Just got the real world
Denver
On dvd

I'm 2 eps in
Colie n davis
I llllove

Colie
Alexs mom
Don't b a slut
What a tool

Davis
If u read this
Call me
Haha

Gnite world

now a special programing break 4 an educational message

So I really don't know if anyone agrees with me, but I've wondered for the longest time how the fuck psychologists, psyciatrist, life coaches -- cuz I've been to them all. No joke, one of my first memories is being in play therapy. Talk about some mother fucking messed up shit right there. Anyone feel me? No ok I guess it's just me. For the reals though, play therapy. That shit fucked me up from day one. No I mean literally day one. I don't know how old I was -- but I had just started talking. So what i must have been six or seven? Yea that's got to be about right. My parents refuse to talk about any of it. Because it was downhill fast, I mean being on the rapid during rush hour in LA rapid. I could have been twelve, who knows.

If no one got me on the play therapy thing -- and why the fuck do I think someone would...I liek to think I'm not alone I guess. I fucking suffered. Bad scene. Ok I'm done moping - for now. Another desperate attempt though some people gotta feel what I'm talking...therapy, counseling. Common' I know at least one or two of you motherfuckers reading this has got ten lucky getting your drunk ass arested. And among the countless other benifits it awards, you then had the fortunate oppertunity to go to court ordered counseling programs for the eternity of your lfie. I'm just glad I don't have a wife. Because if I did, I'm not gona lie. I would be in jail again for beating her ass. I mean don't get me wrong I love me the ladies. I love girls...to spend a day with...a night...but I L-O-V-E being able to take them home. Kinda like babies. Although, much cuter. You ladies overthink things. Wasted energy if you ask me. That's why us smart ones -- the men. Elect to spend that energy killing as many braincells as possible so that we don't having to worry to try to think about things at all. Dead's honest truth until I started to really have best friends, fuck those bitches are my family -- and the first thing I got from really getting intimate with you chicks was my contant worry that I overthought things an insane amount was imediatly gone. Poof! My point and I do have one...was...see what happens? Man, I get destracted so easily with girls -- you've got that thing down pat I'll give you that no contest. I need some more of that shit -- I can't even get on a lot I used to work on without ten forms of ID. Girls, walk right on. Gay security guards rarely effective. The ladies got it. End of this random deleavation, wana know what my mom said after years of just working her non stop to give me some insight I could get? So funny. My mother. I love her. She didn't even say it in full voice. It was just her and I in her house -- she wispered the shit first of all and right after darted upstairs. But the point is I broke her! One point for my god damn lame ass team finally! So anyway, she lost it...pissed...tip toeing over to me. She's gotta give. So she get's in close to my ear. And wispers faster than I've ever heard a southern woman say anything -- yet stil maintain they're lovely 'twang' -- 'power of the puss'. And runs upstairs. Do you love it? I do.

My point, psychologists. Hopefully someone is still with me here. So yea I just went back to school. Very part time. Ok I barely go. But I still am in it -- so yea for education! I've decided to study for my doctorate in psychology -- not medical doctorate. Hell no, I obviously do not have that kind of time. But I'm learning a lot about how people get all raped up in thier bullshit. Except for myself of course. Perfect. So yea I'm in this kinda exclusive, expensive program right. It's well respected in the shrink bizz -- but no one knows about it. But people are paying a lot and doing a lot to go there. I pay for classes that I don't even end up taking without remorse...mind you. These future the-rapist are workin' hard for the money -- that's all I'm saying. Such interesting characters. Faculty, staff, students, faculty and staff spouce students, characters every single one. But the thing is, is they're all fucking nutbags. Now don't get me wrong I love me some crazy people. But like girls -- she I was on point all along. Like my ladies, I like to take my crazies home. Preferably they take themselves...I just say buh-bye. So I'm freaking out about this. They're all getting educated and certified at this posh new agey program with rep yo. I'm like these people are oging to be the worste shrinks in the world. after about 15 I already had. So I'm talking to my shrink about this - well shrinks. Yea I've been really hoped up on the psychopharmocolgy fix for a while now. I totally know what Brooke Shides was talking about now. Always repected her thru it. But not gona lie, I g-e-t it! Good stuff. Tom Cruise, not so much. I met him, when I was a scientologist for about six month's. Oh yea! Great material. You'll have to buy the book on that one.

So final point, I get up the nerve to talk to my shrinks about it. At the time I had two - working together mind you. Now I have one - and am two weeks without any of my little happy pills. The blues, greens, pinks. See what I'm talking about? But uggg the big ass whites were the best. Man I miss that shit. Been doing a lot, A LOT of research on the medical weed tho. Got a doctor's number who makes housecalls for it -- don't get me wrong. Oh and where'd I get this doctor willing to come to my house and cut me a huge deal on his price? From one of my buddies at school...oh yea! Alright this is turning way tomuch for me to read, and I'm writing it. But, so you want to know what my shrinks' said? You in? They laughed. Still are laughing. Almost a year later. Apprently all the shrinks go through this. We think we're crazy and get driven into studying it to fix ourselves. So it's all a bunch of crazy people -- all differnt colors of the rainbow too. So my educational message, which was my thesis to begin with is this....next time you're paying 250 bucks for a 40 minute hour reaching down to the core of your soul to give this trained, educated, liscenced fucker who worked hard for the money -- just remember there's a huge possibily they aren't listening to a god damn word. Try it sometime. Next time you're in court ordered treatment, of course. Throw some crazy random shit in there. 9 times out of 10...doesn't even register. So glad I was able to help someone today. Now I really got to find that doctor's number and make a call. What they say is so true, giving back pays off ten fold. Namistay.

lil sue williams

i took the bus today
and met a new friend
when i first got on
i noticed a faint smell
urine

then i noticed her
lil sue sititng, talking
to an overweight man
who had no hair on his legs
trying 2 convert her

first thing i saw her boots
all purple, rhinestone, hot
next her little handbag
one handle, cloth, childlike
ratty jeans and jacket
i wish i had worn my contacts

she kept repeating things
a comfortale familiraity
her husband just died, yesterday
she is a nurse now, just got off
she has money now, in her pocket
the guy kept on trying
jesus loves u

then lil sue turned him around
asked him about hot guys @ church
she was horny, she reported
in a scarey, bone chilling manner
he denined her

then she asked about his apartment
can he bring girls back there
i watched in awe
he had a roommate he said, but could
he was going to church he repeated
would she like to come along

then lil sue, always working
asks a reasonable question
if u r talking 2 someone on the bus
whose obviously not well
asking them to go to church
u gona buy me lunch or something
no he replied - and got off the bus

the page turned at this point
she was alone on the bench
me across form her
she kept repeating things from her last conversation
nurse. money. husband. grief. death. sad.
looking at me with warm, blood stained eyes

that suck's i finally chorted back
quick i had to change the subject
i was talking to her but not about this
i quickly said i like your boots
oh thanks she says, i'm a fashion designer
i live in beverly hills, only hang out
with celebrities, mercedes owner
as she reachded into her little broken bag
to take another pull of her wonder tonic

oh really that sounds like a lot of fun
i replied not about to argue...i was in
loving ever minute

you can come sit over by me she says
i won't bite - i cross bus benches
when i sit down i put out my hand
2 shake and meet my new friend 4 real
hi i'm scott i say extending peace
lil she says pausing - excuse me i say
that's my name she says defensivily
lil sue williams

nice 2 meet you i say
she goes back to the death, husband
as she is talking i feel something
a cold damp feeling on my shorts
i had not noticed before
i smell and realize i am sitting
right in the middle lil sue's bathroom

don't move
you can't
ask her ?s
is she on meds
does she see someone
reach out
u r better than this
not a snob
all rushing
thru my head
i stay

do u take meds i ask
she goes off
no
hates drugs
she's clean
she says
over
and
over

ok ok i say good for you
what about a psychologist?
have u seen one about the death
no she says i should
i should get back into scientology
i was so happy when i was there
oh god i thought
here we go again
buckle up

she went on for 5 minutes
maybe more while i sat
illuding i care
bleeding empathy
curiosity
y

what do you do she asked
i study psychology
1 of 20 ansewrs i have 4 this ?
which is so common
a desperate jump 2 connect

all this ironic
as i just got my dl
was on the way 2 get my new lexus
i had left last night
at a premiere party
after drinking way too much
expensive champagne

enuf about sue 4 now

*****************************************

tuesay night i will make jokes
about my new friend sue
out of love and respect
as is what i try 2 do
with all my art

stand up is rooted in truth
exagerated, changed, twisted
in a way the audience will
relate 2 the truth
as well as the surealism
ahh life

insane week

already titled my email
and yet haven't writen
but it seemed 2 true
to me...it is wed
fyi

today my 2nd day
this week working
still seems not right
to say i'm working
again

not that i'm complaining
it needed to happen
but for so long i've been
on my own time schedule
working, making cash
yes
but my hours

i hadn't worked in tv
for almost 3 years
except 1 or 2 lil spots
till last week
they seemd 2 like it
whatever

last week of the quarter
i'm going to confess
i split water on my mac
if my dad reads this site
i'm fucked 4 years to come
yes 3x now i've done it
all different computers
uggg i annoy myself
sometimes

it's rigged, not near fixed
at a minor out of pocket $
major memory, tech speak
lost most my saved shit...99%
writing, papers, nothing 2 serious
i couldn't all redo just b4
time was too late

today i bought a collective holiday gift
4 all

redesign of an old idea
that most hadn't seen
a vintage, collectors version
of an old design
4 an my other site
now funny, stupid, me
with this one instead
whatever

i'll have a dozen of them left 2
with nothing 2 do with
except collect dust
it was the max i could stretch
this year 2 give to all i feel i must
bullshit huh

actually they're cute
i think
clever to, i think
fuck people can use them 2 clean
or workout with
or wear them daily
it's the thought
right

ive put a lot of energy into
the design today 2 perfection
and now wasting more on this
my silling little email
2 the world wide web
not that i don't love all 12 of u
who read regularly

those who still come back
from non english nations
god bless
but do u know
what i'm saying

i digress further
back to work now
haha my life's a joke
yet i have stress
what the fuck ever

bye 2 my people
of whom i love all

ONE BIG GAY POST

I AM IN LOVE WITH ADAM JOSEPH
1ST FOUND HIM ON GAY PIMPIN'
JONNY MCGOVERN'S PODCAST
FAGOTY ATTENTION REMIX
LOVE IT

THEN HIS NEW CD
HOW I SEEEM TO BE
THE VIDEO
FLOW WITH MY SOUL
VOTE FOR IT
ON LOGOONLINE
TOP 10 4 2006
WATCH IT BELOW

ANOTHER GAY MOVIE
I CAN NOT GET ENUF
OF THIS HACKY FILM
GOT A DVD COPY
A FEW WEEKS BACK
I'VE SEEN IT 12 TIMES
AT LEAST

IT'S IN LIMITED RELEASE
RIGHT NOW CHECK IT OUT
IN THEATER'S NEAR YOU
'THE BEST BUTT LOVE
IS WITH SOMEONE U LOVE'

THAT IS ALL
FROM ME
2 DAY
PEACE YALL

hollywood xmas parade

i was planning on watching the parade this year
from the balcony off my pool straight shot
to the famous festivities i've yet to see
i took and nap...slept thru it all
story of my life

wanted to share some helpful tips
from chelsea handler
one funny lady
i learned a lot
hope you do too

happy f'in holidays

tommorow will make history
that is we've been in iraq
longer than we were in
the entire ww2
what the f?

we still cannot
secure as much
as a road
or highway
suicide bombers
telling us
something?!

71% of iraquis want the US out
61% of iraquis SUPPORT insergent attacks on us troops
do you think our president can read
or even his minons for that fact
someone needs to wake this man
the fuck up

it's time for us to
get the fuck
out of dodge

it gets better

just before my 15 minutes of pure bliss was burndt out
this came across my computer screen...loud lezzy wow
not only does she claim homophobia (who was so private about thier gayness 4 decades?)
she implies he was getting it on before a 9am live show
the slim chance in hell of that would be with himself
or another call boy -- as he allegedly enjoys
but she then says he's not cute, in shape...on and on
wow apparently she had flow thru the night b4
after stalking barbra streisand in my hometown
man she was tired -- in more way than one
however i'm over it now as the top 200 songs from the 90s just DL 2 my itunes
i'm gona be preoccupied for days
where's casey casem when you need him

rosie opens her big fat mouth

so i know i'm the last person on earth
to realize the scandall going on in daytime
sue me i don't have a tv
but am loving this shit
let me just say if anyone
covered my mouth in front of an audience
on my show they'd get more than a no, no
no matter how 'cute' or 'un-gay' they are
actually found myself reading ro's self indulgent site
ok i can't talk there
no surprise tho just posts from fans
both pro and against her
all outrageous
as was the goal
still eatin' this shit up and
2 gaykin the word is mum
shocker there
happy gobble gobble day peps
ps still working on the gd song
uggg

enjoy a good laugh like i did
a week late but still

chillaxin' holiday

i started listenin 2 this jam
cuz it seemed totally 80s
thought an 80s jam i've never heard
not exactly but still
i'm hooked on this shit now
will publish the song
here on the site
later...when someone shows me how
soon i promise
happy turkey day ya'll
peace

;

song will hopefully b right here soon


(We Don't Need This) Fascist Grove Thing
Heaven 17

Chorus:
Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fascist groove thang

Everybody move to prove the groove (repeat 3x)
Have you heard it on the news
About this fascist groove thang
Evil men with racist views
Spreading all across the land
Don't just sit there on your ass
Unlock that funky chaindance
Brothers, sisters shoot your best
We don't need this fascist groove thang

Chorus

History will repeat itself
Crisis point we're near the hour
Counterforce will do no good
Hot you ass I feel your power
Hitler proves that funky stuff
Is not for you and me girl
Europe's an unhappy land
They've had their fascist groove thang

Chorus

Democrats are out of power
Across that great wide ocean
Reagan's president elect
Fascist god in motion
Generals tell him what to do
Stop your good time dancing
Train their guns on me and you
Fascist thang advancing

Chorus

Sisters, brothers lend a hand
Increase our population
Grab that groove thang by the throat
And throw it in the ocean
You're real tonight you move my soul
Let's cruise out of the dance war
Come out your house and dance your dance
Shake that fascist groove thang
(Shake it

parties

today got an email
a fwd of course
from someone
who was at
the wedding
scam of the yr

someone actually asked
at the party
why the mask
why the sharade
ignored
pushed away
kicked out
hillarious
this tale
via email

truth b/t fact & fiction
who knows where
the real
lies

i thru a 'party'
invited the world
who came
people i care about
and randoms
that was it
nothing
is what
it's built
up 2 b

kicked him in the penis

i'm not one for comm
advertising but 4 real
love this kid

gay

I'm gay...I'm not burdened by it...and I don't think it's a
responsibility. It is just a part of who I am. It does not define me by
any means. Its just that I want to celebrate life...so I have more in my
life to celebrate. Does any of this nonsense make sense? I do not know.
I just blog. And now. I'm peacing out.

THAT girl

I find myself sitting here
Alone in at the end of a bar
Drinking water, waiting
Across the street from
The lot

A friend is preoccupied
Getting 'takin care' of
LA man
Mind fuck central

Its funny how 1 split decision
Can change ur life 4ever
Should I do it or not
One choice...one direction
One choice...polar opposite

superstar

anyone else
addicted
2 xfactor
uk?

leona lewis
superstar
in the making
watch
learn

a date

tonite
i go on a date
1st in a while
a long while

why is this so weird
2 me
it's just drinks
maybe the beach
relax, chill

dating is scarey
some strange person
maybe there's a chance
the odds are against u
from the get go

courting rituals in society
so strange now a days
with online this
and instant message that
face 2 face becomes intimidating
the anti-establishment
if that makes sense
does to me

i saw jesus camp
all i can say is
wow...what the fuck
yes i grew up around these people
but i guess somehow
in my mind
i rationalized
justified them
far, far away
out of existance

haggard now the subject of scandal
crystal meth, gay prostitutes
what else is new
the next target
dobson

my mom used 2 force him upon us
i always had an incling the man
was a freak -- not even
going to dignify him with
the g word

secretly
deep inside
i'm grinning
big time

time to get ready
wish me luck
first base here i come
7th grade all over again

victory NOT

nancy pelosi
yea win 4
women
i got it

but listen up
this is not over
we want bushy
2 answer us
4 what he's done
2 the iraqi people
who did nothing
4 all those he's killed
not by his hand
but his orders
coward
step up

bushy boy
answer 2 moms
whose children
r now dead
us patriot moms
against terror
grieving their losses
sons and daughters
gone, never 2 c again

he grovels
money hungry
coward
he

democrats
who have seats
now
take action
don't sit back
and sip the champagne
do what we elected u 2
NOW!

2 all of u
us
stand up
4 what we want
write
demand
scream
yell
we must b heard
over and out....

Joggers

So I can run don't get me wrong
But I can run, sprint, haul ass now
I do not enjoy it
And do as little as possible
4 workouts with the trainer

But I would not be caught dead
Running without my shirt on
If I had brad pits body no way
I know you get tan...go 2 a pool
Or the ocean were in fuckin' LA

I don't need to see how
Much or little back / chest hair u have
Nor do I need to see how much u wax
and those tiny shorts boys...got 2 go

I'm not even talking about the dudes
Who have nooo room 2 b running shirtless
Not even going there
Jiggle on!

Next rant...the random...wierd ways these 'runners' execute thier
mission...

nov 7 2006

i usually vote thru the mail

absentee ballot it's called

i think

this year for the 1st time

i didn't -- i went 2 da polls

it was an experience

on many levels

many ways

unexplainable

the power

of democracy

is palpable 

in that booth

love it

results 2day

we spoke 

america

now lets 

speak

LOUDER!

in real news

britney leaves

on T or 2?

they say scandal

r u fucking kidding?

inevitable 

glad 2 c her with larry

once again

gl 2 a fellow southerner 

tonight all is quiet 

as it should be 

got 3 new dvd's

old screeners? click? flags of our fathers? the departed? 

which one 1st 

biggest de-lima 

4 me tonight

peace

VOTE TODAY

vegas baby

JUST FINISHED WORKING OUT
SATURDAY 430PM
ASKED MY TRAINER
HEY U WANT 2 GO TO VEGAS
MY BROTHER IS THERE

SHE THINKS, AGREES TO GO 2 EAT
OVER DINNER WE AGREE
VEGAS IT IS
ONE NIGHT
ONLY
FUN

WE HIT 6+ HRS OF TRAFFIC
ON THE WAY 2 SIN CITY
NEVER DRIVING AGAIN
I SWORE

MET UP WITH MY BROTHER
FINALLY
AFTER MIDNIGHT
AND THE SHENANIGANS BEGAN
HE WAS THERE W/ TCU
REPUBLICAN FRAT BOYS ALL AROUND
I HAD TO BE SEDATED

BUT FUN WAS HAD
PRICE + ME + VEGAS
EQUALS
TROUBLE
WITH A CAPITAL
T

GOT BACK LAST NIGHT
LATE SO TIRED
AT SCHOOL
BORED
TIRED
GLAD 2 HAVE SEEN
MY BROTHER

donnie darko

watching the flick
funny school flood
actually happened 2 me
day of da oj verdict

donnie the pills
emotional problems
rings true 2 all
if not u lie

can not sleep
feel free
freedom a prisoner
feels just released

ok drama out.

retreat

all i can say is 2 things
i wish i had brought my camera
& thank god i edited sheyene's papers
oh yea and hiked

the idea
a retreat
4 days
3 nights
a zen center
zen budhism
it was called

i found out
talking 2 the monks
who were friendly
and "gay"
if u ask me

zen and budhism
2 differnt arenas
not connected
they were laughing
at this group
motley crew
4 sure

we left
maria & i
home now
listening 2 elton
feeling love
light freedom
so nice

4 my folks
back at brokeback
meditating with the
shister that is
marv

i'm sorry
buh-bye

sorry no pics
again wish i had the camera
the scenery was beautiful
light perfect
the atmosphere
and guide
not so much
i'm out 2 bed
4 hours on end

Why is it

That pittying someone; and wanting to fuck somone...get all tangled up
in my head?!?!

the eve of the dead

tonite
halloween
went 2 west hollywood
the "parade"
1st time
live here
6 years
about time
i thought

saw tiffany
sing her hits
from the 80s
on the way 2
tiff
a police escort
nice

on the way back
hell no escort
just us
and the crowd
millions
random
inbreeders

in a car now
on the way home i think
just dropped frineds off
traffic is a nightmare
thank god 4 limo tints

i kinda wish
i was 7 yrs old
again

trick or treat
in bed by 10
sugar hi
waiting 4
school
2 tell them all
about my eve

adult life
crazy shit

babble

tonight
i saw it
brad pitt
new film
wow

i'm blogging
from a party
4 it

just met cate
briefly
what a
lovely lady

school a drag
the dream
remembered

thicker descriptions
thiner conclusions
niceness truncates honesty
check out
kehinde wiley
art
magic
light

there is no
period
on ur life
yet
remember

love and light 2 all
tonight
peace
me@scottiscool.net

wise words (i didn't write)

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.
Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.
Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.
Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.
Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.
Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.
Somehow torture is tolerated.
Somehow lying is tolerated.
Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.
Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.
Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.
Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,

Kevin Tillman

tonite

tonite
i saw
employee of the month
on dvd

dane cook
who i know
actor / stand-up
"know"

jessica simpson
whom ive met
so hot
so she

good flick
yes
entertaining

this month
in iraq
so many
of us dead
300+ bill
spent on
"war"

honesty
integrity
authentic
us

that's the real
shit

the waiter

tonight. w/ a friend. martini's @ the abbey. new york city, biach! point. and i do have one. btw, how cool is this i learned how to do the blog with colors and text. adhd what? back to the point. so i dared my friend. to ask the waiter. if he would be into her having him bite and apple. and strap it on. hillarious i thought. i would get the drinks. which i already had. she did. i was shocked. so was she. his responce "well i'm not a big fan of apples". west hollywood for you.

got home. talked to a friend whose way busy. wants to meet for a drink. decompress. now i debate the ever present question...go meet another friend out for a drink. or stay in.

outside the window. of my loft right now. i can hear a concert. could be the kareoke (sp?) bar a block away. or one of the bigger veniews. with a big live show. and loud amps. hollywood baby! i love it.

life

the best part
isn't knowing
ur friends
have ur back

it's knowing
u have ur
friends back

green st. hooligans
soo real
so true
so me
peace ya'll

cafe brazil

tonite went to dinner
with two friends
after class
str8 guys
in relationships
just shootin' the shit
who knew
fun times
i'm 2 judgemental
agreed

just watched the break up
jennifer anniston
soooo hot
bad ending
agreed?

tom shrink, lunch date, dinner date
big day 4 me sad i know
missing my bros
and my best friend who i love
melz seriously is so me
i miss texas too
but not 2 be there
does that make sense
who fuckin' cares

tonight on the way home
reconnected
with an old
buddy
good times

peace ya'll

v is 4 vendetta

holy shit
see this film
now run
dont walk

tell me what u think
an 80s tale told
modern?

or a modern tale
told 80's

natalie portman
amazing
as always
i 3x love her
hot, actress
fuck that
she's a prophet
watch the film

v

a man
huge heart
addict
ready 2 give up
on life
and all

i love him
as do so many
yet he
does not
know

brings up
the past
back 2 haunt
funny life
nothing happens
by chance

the journey
is
the destination

love 2 all
tonite

tonite

the door bell rings
which never happens
unless i'm expecting
someone

it's a lady my complex
susan she says is her name
as i introduce myself
i say i'm a student
of psyciatry -- panic i blame
on my lie

she wants 2 let me know
who stole my water bottles
sparklets delivers
it takes me a day or 2
to bring them in

yes i say, i noticed
people are assholes
what can you do
she is pissed about
the situation
raged

i was lovin' susan tonite

target

a good friend of mine...is hurting
which as we all know is no fun @ all
we went to target - for a photoshoot
well the photoshoot was an after thought

put on all the halloween costumes
snapping pics with my sidekick
we were laughing, having a blast
and attracting a crowd -- eyes
"don't worry about it, you're not the first"
says the employee noticing the ruckous (sp?)

we were both so ellated leaving target
who could have know it could be so fun
then it happened

i lost my parking ticket
it was in the pocket
with my phone
and fell out

i asked the security guard
how to pay to get out
tried the machine call button
tried the parking lot security
tried going back to look 4 it

an hour later, after loosing my cool
yelling, pissed off at some dude
in a range rover w/ snide remarks
we finally get out of the gd garage

went to bristol farms
sat outside & ate
talked about the difficult
conversation she had 2 have

what should she do?
what shouldn't she?
questions 4 me
answers unknown

i tried my best
trying not 2
give definite answers
it's her conversation
her reality
i wanted to support her

go with your gut
do what you feel comfortable
if it escalates or
goes out of control
leave - it's your journey
and the journey is
the destination

great sunday

so i spent the day with
my trainer slash friend
fuck that she's my sister
started out with a workout
kicked my ever growing ass

we hung until just now
went to coffee bean
went to coral tree
my favorite resteraunt

i dropped her 2 get her hair done
went and took a shower
and back to her house
2 watch TV which i don't have

picked her up soon after
went to whole foods
and bristol farms
4 ingredents 4 dinner
which she cooked
love that

we met a big time director
on the way home
a friends dad
or something like that
he was kinda creepy
in a oddly good way
if that makes sense

north korea says
nucleur bomb tests
were a success
oy fuckin' vey
here we go america...

Today I had a workout
Hardcore styke yo
Lunch afterwards
Saw a familiar face

Interupted a lunch date
Had a good talk
Afterwards my date
Tells me it was an oscar winner
I did not notice was
My familiars date
Uggggg

Saw a good friend
Whom I love
Suffering with
Aweful medical condition
Her light shown brite
Still...sick...all lite

Tonite a dinner
With a good bud
I love her 2
Spent 2 much
Story of my life

I'm watching nip/tuck
Season 4....Eps 4, 5, 6
I have good friends
Preview of next week

Life is good
4 drama

whats wrong with oprah

life! truth! honesty!
and she can't deal

smells

Isn't it wierd how sense memory is so potent
Nrutrogenia hand cream scented of course
I use this shit obsessively...bc of the smell
My mamaw used it...evertime I put it on
I think of her and how beautiful she was
Were talking about a beauty deeper than looks
An inner beauty...a strong, stoic broad she was
Neutrogena hand cream...expensive yes
But totally a bargin deal 4 what it brings 2 me

I'm watching the lake house
With sandy b from austin
I met her once...twice
Briefly but intreging
This film...not so much
Its concept
Communication
Past and future
Is fascinating 2 my core
Str8nge

loving john mayer right now

ok so i'm decands behind
when it comes 2 pop music
but i'm in love with
john mayer and this song
call me what u want
check it out -- i loves it

depression

It is such a scary beast, this whole depression thing. I mean the mother fucker just creeps up on your ass when you least expect it. And like a storm cloud out of no where...you're lost. You've got there into the abiss. When you're in it, you are fuckin in the shit. You see no light at the end of the tunnel. No hope flickers in your mind when your psyche, seems like your soul too, have taken you on a trip to the underworld. Also like a storm, it can be a mild shower or torential down poor -- and you don't have one god damn say in the matter. However, just like a storm it can all of a sudden be lifted. Sometimes its easy, the company of a good friend, a movie, a book, a period of hardcore work outs, anything can snap one of out it -- if you're willing. The one question remains...are you?

In the span of less than twelve hours...i just found out a 3 month old baby suddenly left the world...and another new born baby girl a friend blessidly delivers...life.

mundane

ok so did i tell you
i canceled my tv
months ago
yet when i get 2 a tv
i go crazy

tonight the bachelor
why is this show good
i haven't watched 'em all
but i've watch certain seasons
all addicted...all "good"

kfed is shooting a video
right now outside my window
bright lights, loud music
i just want 2 sleep

u want him my friend responds
when i tell her about the loud shoot
i'd rather sleep with Brittany i reply
eeewww gross she responds wtf

tv/media is addicting... seductive
you won't want 2 care
but still it attacks
responds 2 me

the news
rain in LA
deadly doggy biscuit
why the fuck
do i watch this
shizz

peace ya'll

the monday's

another shooting today
32 yr old milk truck driver
held hostage a dozen girls
at an amish school in PA
they said six were dead
when i heard the story
now they say four
regardless the #
sad

speaking of sad
i just finished watching
the house of carters
from last night
on E! wow

today was my first day back
the first day back sucks ass
it's a given, should b a law
always expectations going in
always ends up sucking ass

mark foley
scandal
plays out
b4 our eyes
so tragic

people still doubt me
every-time i swear
its the conservatives
with the biggest skeletons
in their closet
i know
i was raised among them

i just logged onto my myspace
haven't been on in a few days
i had 10x any many friend requests
now that i put my real age
and made the profile private
something's fishy here, tom ol buddy
he's been my friend since day 1
i'm sure he stays up 2 date with my site

madonna

watching madonna videos
bootleg dvd copy
still what a genius
gross hands sure
but godess
none the same

seriously?!

Congressman accused of sending 'sick' emails to 16 year old boy

Larry Womack
Published: Thursday September 28, 2006

A Congressman has been accused of sending questionable emails to a sixteen-year old Capitol page, RAW STORY has learned.

Reports circulated on the Internet earlier this week, indicating that in private emails, Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL) had requested photographs of the page, asked what he wanted for his birthday, and inquired about his age. The emails may be viewed below.

A subsequent investigation by RAW STORY discovered that the addresses on the emails were indeed those of Foley and a now-seventeen year old boy, who forwarded them to a fellow staffer. There is no overtly sexual communication in Foley's emails, and the age of consent in Washington, DC is sixteen.

Our investigation also uncovered a MySpace profile attached to the congressman's personal address, containing very little information.

Foley's office has told ABC News that it is their policy to keep pictures of former interns so that they could be remembered by anyone looking to recommend one. However, ABC also reports that the page did not work in Foley's office.

RAW STORY spoke with several sources, who confirmed that they felt Foley was unusually friendly with young Hill pages, but failed to uncover anything of a more serious nature.

Foley's office contends that the Congressman is only guilty of being overly-friendly and has categorized the story as part of an opponent's "smear campaign."

Foley has long marketed himself as a protector of children from sexual predation. In 2003, he became an outspoken critic of a summer nudist camp for children. An amendment by Foley to change federal sex offender laws became part of the Adam Walsh Child Safety and Protection Act of 2006.

opportunities

i moved 2 LA in 2001
i still remember landing
my first agent, manager
and my first job

my agent booked it
my manager got a %
it was a cooperate gig
i guess u could call it that

4 a new arcade type game
dance dance revolution, dyslexic
and without the dancing
if the game got produced
i was going to be mr. dyslexic revolution
excitement!

they did my hair and make-up
i was playing the game being filmed
it was inter-coperate type shit
but they did it all the same

i still remember the check amount
after taxes and commissions
$421.57 wish i could say i lied
and had 2 look that number up

my laptop battery recall just arrived
what i don't get it is now a full charge is 4:11
b4 it was 5...now less but not as hot
so who gives a damn it, janet

i'm watching garden state
4 the 100th time this yr
haven't seen it in 4ever
an x-mas gift 05 i watched it
over and over and over

still everytime you see this film
you see something new 2 u
bravo zach, etc. this shit rocks
my favorite scene jean, zach...
smoking pot b4 her meeting
love loves it!

lies

so i have a new obsession
no capital letters
emails, txt msgs...
why am i so enthralled?

i lie
on this
blog

i said it
true

took a class
b4 blog time
truth between
fact and fiction

think about it

the elevator with LK

leaving my eye doctor today
the elevator opens, full of people
i hear another ding
i'll wait i say noticing
the other elevator
is going up
not down

i get on the crowded elevator
look to my left and see him
instinctually i say 'hi lar'
'how are you' he responds
as if he remembers me
knows me
all very cool
calm, collected

we continue the ride down
2 the bottom of the cnn building
together all of us
him with his possy
and me alone

they're talking numbers
ratings or cd sales
i'm not listening all that closely
all i picked up from the 10 floor drop
was he being pissed about something
something that clay did
gaykin i think to myself
always up 2 no good

the elevator stops...floor 3
CNN's broadcast studios
the possy begins to depart
all of a sudden he stumbles
i wouldn't say he was about to
well hell yes i'll say it
he was about to bite it
big time...lets face it
the cat's old

i reach out my hand
again instinct
4 him 2 grab
saving this man
known 2 all
4 being a news staple
from falling on his face
outside his own studio

he mumbles something
as i help him up
the doors close
and proceed to my car
i'm unlocking the doors
beep sounds my new fancy ride
i know a car's too much 4 me
when i can't understand the beeps it makes
let alone anything else
i digress

hey you i hear someone screaming
running in my direction
i freak slightly as i do
along in a parking garage
being screamed at and chased
the lady looks familiar
barely my age if that
young, naive, and in a hurry

i stop and turn to her
'what's up' i respond
he wants to thank me
he wants to invite me 2 the taping
on a show notorious for closed sets
no thanks i instantly answer
i've got 2 be somewhere

she is shocked, this girl still catching her breath
like i just told her to go fuck her mother or something
'let me get your information...he'll want it'
why the hell would he need my contact info
i thought to myself as wrote on her back
a contact, a number, an address, and my private email

almost two months later i've forgotten it all
i get a call something's at the office 4 me
a case of dom, flowers have just arrived
are at his office with my name on them
guess who they were from
guess i won't make so much fun
of the old battle ax after all
life in LA

damn, shits going down @ McDs

i should eat
at mick e
dee's more

why do i love this?

Authorities made a drug bust after getting a lead at an unlikely place, a McDonald's restaurant.

Members of Saginaw Safe Streets and Gang Task Force uncovered packaged heroin stashed in the McDonald's men's restroom Thursday evening after they saw suspicious drug activity in the restaurant's parking lot.

Authorities say the discovery led police to execute search warrants at two addresses.

It's at those addresses where police recovered 30 to 40 packages of heroin, cocaine, marijuana and prescription medicines.

Police say the heroin alone could have a street value as high as $50,000. Officers arrested a 50-year-old Saginaw man.

chevron

today was a boring day
errands and such
no excitement planed
so i'm at my local chevron
filling my new car up
for the first time
that was enuf excitement 4 me

then homeless man walks up
shoping cart in tow
this man is disholved 2 say the least
off meds god can only imagine
talking to himself, mumbling
going thru the garbage
normal LA life

then the gas employee guy comes out
and starts taking smack with this guy
for some random reason
i still dont know

mr homeless
feeling engaged
i'm sure
jumps into the fray
another employee comes out
and joins in the verbal dispute
they are basically going back and forth
trying to intimidate the other party
seems pointless 2 me

the gas station boy
that's what i'll call him
not only because he was a kid
but because he acted like a child

so the gas station boy threatens the man
that if he doesn't get lost,
the boy's gona get his gun from his car
well he called it his 'piece'
and didn't say it in such a mild manner

i'm just standing there
pumping my gas
minding my buisness
while this all goes down
in front of my car
at 1:30pm less than a mile
from my home

the guy ended up leaving
the employees went back 2 work
i passed on going inside
2 buy some water
and think i'm going 2
have to fine a new gas station soon...

well i'm off to workout
with the personal trainer
still can't wipe that scene
out of my mind
maybe sweat will do it
WE LOVE L A

the morning after

there are so many morning afters
trust me i would know
the morning after the deed
the morning after a big seed
i'm listening to kings of convience
doing free falling accapello
the noise police
real police this time
just knocked on my door
10 am
too loud
i turned it up
fuck those bitches

although 2 tell the truth
the cops at 10 am
did give me a run
4 my money
noise complaint
10am
what the fuck

last night saw good friends
more of whom
it's been too long
it's wierd
this force into the world
weeeeee

we went out
drinkin'
of course
and had a blast
round the crib

friends brother
was feeding me drinks
for what reason
he only knows
i'll keep beleivin' mine

out 2 brunch
god that sounds so gay
enjoy this flick
speaking of gay

therapy

I got there early today
Had a few minutes 2 blog
She opens the door frazzled
Look whose on time, I joke
Actually early...really early, she replies
No ur way late I thought...
Role reversal is strange!

She leads me back 2 her office
Can I have a water I ask trying 2 break the ice
Its been 3 weeks since last time
And were both enevidbly uncomfortable
Its our routine
After a break
Relationships are wierd!

You sound sick she replied
I think I am I said
She went to get me the water
Tea she offered
No thanks
Echinesia, zircam, ricola, the list went on
Just the water I replied
I love her
My frazzled shrink
Puts me right back into place
From chaous 2 calm
Odd, yes.

I got a preview dvd
4 nip/tuck this season
Never seen the show
Years in now I have this dvd
I went out and bought all past season dvd box sets
Half way thru year 2
Love the show
Can't get enough
But having to watch them all
In order
God please don't say I have ocd!

The Hand Wave

Is the hand wave not a universal mute signal
For gratitude...to say thank you...simple, easy
I'm loving driving again
Love love LA all over again
And triple love the new car!

I've been cruisin' all over this town
Seeing people I have put off 4 way 2 long
Enjoying the new ride
And the freedom that comes with
Mobility.

I've become an overly polite driver
Stopping, pausing, letting others break laws
I assume they're in a hurry
I all the time in the world
So I go out of my way
And let them go.

No body waves thank you any more
People look at me strangly
When I go out of my way
2 let them know I appreciate something
Behind the limo tint of my new ride.

God love L A

from a bikers jacket

Respect All
Fear None

back in LA

back home...doin my bidness
man they always say it
and it is so true
no place like home

mine is messy
i can't clean
i've accepted
this fact
housekeeper
hired
stat

i return home
2 find out
ann richards is gone
i always liked her
politically and
personally
why
who da fuck knows
this texan doesn't

did u hear about yesterday's shooting
in canada our friendly country 2 da north
so sad my heart hurt just reading the details

Ann Richards 9/1/33-9/13/06

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:

1. You have to believe that the nation’s current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday’s gasoline prices are all Clinton’s fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don’t deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe…everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn’t diminish your opportunities, but you still won’t vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don’t pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

bush wants to punch him

watch our prez
on today yesterday
matt lauer rocks

last night

last night -- drama
why do we as humans
rush to fists
anger
when in fear

bush said to katie
the hardest part
about his job
is connecting
911 to iraq
no one noticed

brad won't marry
till the gays can
jessica simpson
is not in love
with john mayer
these are whats important
in the current state of our nation

i'm in bush land
& it's hot as hell
irony rears its ugly head
off to dinner
with da fam
wish me luck

"home"

I just got back from a friends funeral
In Dallas...still wondering why
Funny how home is where u live
Not where u grew up

Today a mother's pain was felt
As I hugged her...sorry 4 her loss
Her son tragically dead...at 25
His girl and boy lost both parents
In one day on a boat in north texas

I saw a lot of old faces -- memories flood
Some I wanted 2...some not so much
A teacher who I made a point to hug
A few too many times during our superficial chat
Its funny when u grow up and change
It changes others around you even more
Hope she realized how important she was 2 my life

A friend from high school leaves for training soon
In just a few short months he'll be in iraq
Fighting...risking his life...I ask myself again
Was all this worth it? So many of our own gone.

My dad's new house is awquardly silent
Emptiness that is so much more than just furniture
Walked mojo 2 the park...baseball...kids @ play
Suburbia...man I really don't miss it much.

towleroad

i love this shit

In divorce proceedings that are shockingly still ongoing, David Gest accuses Liza Minnelli of hiding herpes from him, and she counters that Gest was trying to "poison" her with drugs.

holy shit

this kid was my age
just married
2 young kids
class of 22
now 21
sigh

new hair, stories, and sleep needed

there is a reason the picture
is in very dark lighting
and no it's not my photography skills
ok maybe part that
anyway i'm gona join a biker gang
and change my name to connie rey

ok so i just wrote this short
in the past two days or less
it's majorly incomplete
but i had 2 turn something in
b4 deadline

i tried desperatly to change
names, curcumstances
for protection and all
you'll get it when u read


a little bit of the short...the rest is posted under comments:
"Courtney was one of the two of my clients who made up reports of child abuse against me. Completely fabricated. Apparently not at all uncommon among staff. I didn't get it. I was wearing pajamas to work. Not shaving. Not bathing sometimes. Wearing sweats. Big clothes. Tons of layers. Trying my hardest to make myself unappealing. Making it all my fault they were hitting on me I guess."


ok i'm going to bed, i hope

labor day weekend

can i just say
i hate gestalt
i'm 5 pages in
15+ to go
haven't even
started my thesis
hell the topic
of the shit

i'm normally pretty good
at researching things on da net
but when you're lookin up
gestalt a german therapy and pysch
fuck my specific topic
the shit is limited

ok anyone else heard
STRANGER IN THIS WORLD
off the taboo london cast cd
i think holy shit
i love that song
can not find the lyrics
or sheet music
i'm desperate like a househusband

i leave for texas less than two days
here we go again people...

life is 2 short

last night i run from the cops,
unnecessary i now now but i ran
i'm on probation a flipped my shit
this morning
a friend from high school
and his wife
are dead

i'm running through ever breath of negativity i could have thought
about this kid...that's what he was a kid...taken from us way 2 early
and regretting

my heart aches for his family...his mom, dad, sister especially
as well as his wife's - whom i'd never met

my god we don't necessarily have that long do we
getting all depressing around here today...


5 boaters killed at Texoma

Collision casts a pall over lake's 'poker run'; 1 hospitalized in Dallas

12:00 AM CDT on Sunday, September 3, 2006

OKLAHOMA CITY – Five people were killed and another was injured Saturday when two jet boats collided on Lake Texoma, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol said.

The accident occurred about 12:30 p.m. near U.S. Highway 377 east of Willis in far southern Oklahoma.

The identities of the dead and injured were withheld until relatives could be notified. The survivor, a man, was at Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, but his condition was not known.

Two married couples in one boat died, Trooper Kera Philippi said. A woman from the other boat was flown to an area hospital, where she died. A man from that boat was flown to Dallas.

A "poker run" event, in which participants get a playing card at five stops and win if they have the best poker hand, was going on at the lake, but Ms. Philippi said investigators don't know whether the victims were involved.

Owners and managers at several marinas said the accident did involve boats from the race.

"It was really a big deal across the lake," said Sherri Williams, owner of Catfish Bay Marina. "I've been on the lake 15 years, and I don't know of a mishap in a poker run.

"It's been depressing all across the lake today."

gotta blog

tonight was a night
a deep conversation
with a very good friend
going thru the shit
i maintained my boundries
what a suprise

i finished a paper
on anxiety and panic attacks
for psychopharmacology
i did it justice i believe
we'll see what victor says

watched go -- great flick
katie holmes pre auditing
she is so fuckin' cute
a total mary-kate houseman
loves it

watching clueless classic
cher with the gum on her finger
it does not say rsvp on the constitution
my childhood exasperated
loves it

life is a trip
johnny t
kissing a man
probally a friend
a cousin
gotta call jonathan
see what the deal is
why do we freak
about nothing
he is giving a guy a distant peck
and we all scream GAY
god damn it people
get a freakin' life

heading to d-town
in less than a week
seriously the blogging
will be insane
while i'm there
trust me
stay tuned

love ya all
my loyal readers
all 2 of you
peace out
scottiscool

When the Levees Broke...Spike Lee doc

It's been nearly a year since Hurricane Katrina ripped through New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. This weekend, AP reported (and this one's a shocker folks) that "the federal government has proven slow and unreliable in keeping the president's promises" to supply aid to the region.

For example, NPR reports that the home of 74-year-old Ethel Williams, which Bush promised in an April 2006 photo-op would be rebuilt, still sits untouched. Says Williams: "[W]e all disappointed because nothing’s been done."

Is anyone surprised?

Tonight, the first part of Spike Lee's documentary, When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts, premieres on HBO from 9-11. The second part airs tomorrow evening. In it, Lee reports on the city of New Orleans and key figures surrounding the government's inept response to the natural disaster. Some, like Ray Nagin and Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco, talk. Others, like Homeland Security Chief and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, wouldn't. La Times writer Patrick Goldstein notes that Lee goes after Rice with particular interest ("When you're going to buy shoes while people are standing on the rooftops, waving brooms, you're part of the problem...").

Said Lee: "I just hope people come away from this film realizing this disaster didn't just happen to dumb-ass people who wanted to live below sea level. This was about the choices of our government. The National Guard was in Iraq, not in New Orleans."

The LA Times reports that Lee is not too favorable toward Mayor Ray Nagin either: "Even though Lee is often critical of Nagin, the film largely portrays him as an irrepressible New Orleans politico, especially when he recounts taking his first post-Katrina shower on Bush's plush Air Force One, which he describes as the ultimate 'pimp mobile.'"

Nagin recently slammed the Feds at a meeting of the National Association of Black Journalists in Indianapolis:

"Very little of those dollars have gotten to the local governments or to the people themselves. We are being strangled, and they're using the money to set local policies to try to take control of the city to do things that they had in mind all along, and that's to shrink the footprint, get a bunch of developers in the city, and try to do things in a different way. We're not going to let that happen. They're going to give us our money, and we're going to rebuild this city."

So what does Labor Day hold in store for us this year? Last year, while watching the parade of reactions on national news to the lack of movement from our government, it was hard to believe what we were seeing. A city being virtually ignored, left to die. A year later there are no bodies left sitting outside the Superdome but that city must still stink of tragedy.

source:towlerroad

kendra from girls next door

i met her a playboy party, 2x actually she's the 'sporty playmate'
she couldn't be more uhh how to describe this playboy model
sweet and um bubbly not a mean bone in this chick's body
but this shit i love, love, love it
4 humorafter the bennett drama
i guess this is from here myspace or something....read on....

My first rap video
Current mood: pissed off

I made a BAD MISTAKE when i agreed to be in a music video with EMINEM!! Why would i think doin my first music video with Eminem would be soooo tight?? i have no idea why cuz i never liked him in the first place but getting the so called opportunity was something i wouldnt pass up which was a bad mistake hahaha!!

The reason for me doing the video wasnt for the money, it was to make all my fans happy that i finally did a rap video cuz we all know how much i talk about how much i wanna be in one..right?? well im getting right to the point by saying it was probably the worst experience of my life!!

It all started off really cool when my best friend Brittany came up just to support me and cheer me on but not to mention her obsession over Eminem was also what made her drive all the way up for the day. When we first got there everyone like Akon came to say hi and greeted us. So i was so happy cuz it seemed like a start to a fun great day but a long fun great day huh huh!!

So about ten hours later(waiting in a cafeteria) i finally get my call to come in and shoot the scene with eminem. I was lookin the hottest of the hot(not conceided) and i was ready to go with my hair all done and everything, sooo happy. so we start by doing some warmups and i was dancing my ass off(literally) cuz it was my time to shine in front of David Banner, Lil Zane, and a couple other rappers and 100s of people.D eveyone was lovin my dancing and makin me feel good. Then Eminem walks in the room lookin like hes overdosing on drungs. We met and he was really nice to begin with and he was saying things like how he watches the show and how he got our issue of playboy and he wants me to sign it so i was very flattered and happy. Then we start doing our scene and everything is goin good until we go on a break. I went over to sit on the couch to rest a lil bit and i started talking to this really nice guy. Next, i look over and see Eminem walkin towards me. I smile and say "whats up?", he takes out a bottle of water and pours it all over me!!! There goes my makeup, there goes my hair, there goes my tears, and there goes my first rap video!!! Yes i charged at him to knock him out, only got him a lil bit though cuz of his big ass body guard that was in my way.

All i have to say about this is I feel way more sorry for him than i do hate him over this!! even though i yelled out probably 100000 times i hate him haha!! He has to act like a 5 yr old lil kid by pouring water on me to make himself feel better about his sad life. Everyone like Akon came over to make me feel better and that was really cool of them but inside i was dying!! i was so embarrassed and humiliated! So many people after that said they will never support him anymore and they will never listen to him anymore!! Hef felt sooo bad for me and was sooo pissed at Eminem, Hef HATES him now haha!!

So i lived and i learned right?? I will never do a rap video again unless its three 6 mafia, too short, bow wow, or nelly!!! Nelly was so nice to me by sending me a letter along with an autograhed jersey and pimpjuice the day after this eminem video so now im happy again haha!!

So all i can woder is why why why???? maybe he was loaded on drugs, maybe i reminded him of Kim, maybe he hates me..who knows!! all i know is i didnt do anything to him to make him do this to me. So im movin on with my life and putting this in the past but please dont buy any music from him anymore hahahahaa jk!! love u all and thanks for watching the show and listening to my sad story haha!! Peace

KDUB