a gag gift gone totally off track in 2000

senior year
i was alone
immature
abused and tethered
incomplete 2 say the least

ms nemec was my middle school teacher
and baby sat us boys when the folks were absent
i was practically all of her classes
she didn't go to scotty's funeral
of that i am now painfully aware
maybe that was part of the grudge

after middle school we became friends
or so i thought
i would run to her classroom
fuming about something minute
inane detail of my life
she would always relieve my
immature, childish stress
we joked
we laughed
we shot the shit
ms nemec

so senior year was hell
pure and true
i skipped my junior year
and my the school decided
to make it near impossible
4 me to do
i did it anyway, so fuck them
not the point

ms nemec took the job as vice principal
of the new high school
from friend to major authority
scared that insecure boy
i reacted the only way i knew how
act out
loud and proud
take no responsibility
and the rebel yelled more more more

nemec took it upon herself
to be the police of all things minute
as the high school dictator
judy brown needed no help
still to this day that name
makes my heart skip a beat
hard core christian
heart by so many
death of a child
and so much more
innately mean she became
i can only assume

toward the end of the year
we the 1st senior class
tried 2 make a name 4 ourselves
senior pranks went a muck
so did we

it was my idea
my concept
my doing
to give ms nemec a book
dont sweat the small stuff
famously known
as she once our pal
was now the natzi of the mundane
her job judy gave her probably
but it was resented
especially by me

i bought the book
organized underground
4 all the seniors to sign
with messages of sarcasm
something nemec and i shared
once upon a time

she was just getting married
some of the spite my fellow classmates wrote
looking back was beyond crossing the line
i gave it to her anyway
feeling score 4 team scott

she did not take it lightly
now i totally get why
then i was like take a fuckin' joke
get over yourself

i was ratted out
of course
small school
insecurity abound
everyone was quick 2
place blame on me
and remove responsibility

judy brown called me into her office
to drill me about the gift
i played innocent and coy
if my cohorts are going to elude responsibility
fuckin' a -- i was going to too
and even more so than them

the questions got more intense
ms nemec cried judy told me
a ploy or truth 2 this day
i do not know
the more she toyed with my brain
the more glib, naive i became

she saw right thru me
as i did her
probably why we never got a long
after an hour of getting no where
angrily ms brown thru her planner
across the room in my direction
telling me to get the hell out of her office

i did just that
and proceeded out of the office
heading across the shopping mall
my beloved shelton had transfixed
my senior year

all of a sudden
in the foyer of a 5 story building
open to the top
i heard "mr taylor stop right there"
the voice was all to familiar
vague, fake, uncertain
it was judy

get back in my office she commanded
and stormed off upstairs
i obliged
curious what was to follow
i got off on her being vulnerable
because it exposed her true core

15 minutes later she appears again
this time with the school shrink
dr pierce still to this day
i'm uncertain what his job was exactly
she said nothing
he did all the talking

tempers are flared right now, he said
i'm perfectly calm, i thought to myself
scott return to class, he ordered
i wanted to say just what i was doing
20 minutes earlier
you schmucks
but kept my mouth closed
we'll meet on this later were pierce's closing words

we never did really discuss the incident again
i think she realized how in the wrong she was
and as an adult now i realize my part too
at the time she was the adult, i was the kid
but hell i was pushing buttons
to see her explode
and got off on it
and she could tell

to this day i wonder if ms nemec even remembers these events
and holds a grudge against me 4 my behavior
it came from a dark place
lashing out at someone i felt so close too
who all of a sudden distanced themselves
and became so detached
story of my life
and my natural reaction
act out, act back
revenge was my goal
and at 100x the level necessary

i never meant to truly hurt her
to her core it seemed i did
i love her and all she did for me
that last year of high school was a wash
and hope she forgives me
and focuses on all the goodness
as i try to now

my wish for ms judy
is that she has found some light
some peace, hope and happiness
anything to help lessen her pain
that was so apparent it was stunning
and some outlet 2 release
as we all need

i wish both ladies nothing but the best
wish and hope nemec has long forgotten
all this high school bullshit
and has forgiven me
never meant to hurt her
true 2 my core