feldman

ok so the story goes...

first semester
freshman year
a friend from the dorm
practically a suitemate
had a death in the family
grandfather
and left town suddenly

asked if i could hook up his friend
who was coming in town to stay
on his way somewhere
one night it was sworn
i agreed

the guy calls me the night in question
says hes just leaving houston
will call me when he's close
i think he called 200 times
over the three hour drive
what the fuck was i thinking
i thought to myself

he gets in town
calls again
we're on the phone
i'm directing him thru austin
and to campus
thru campus
and to my dorm

holy shit he says
can cops arrest you on ur campus
i said excuse me
he said a cop in a truck
is behind me
oh campus police i said
they probally think your fucked up
and are going to escort you here
tell them ur a student
live in teresa dorms
i gave him my room #
and that u lost your id
play it cool, i'll come find you
campus was small
i co-dependent

i watched from a hall window
as feldman made a mad dash
go knows where he was heading
far away apprently
then i saw it
the cop pulling a bong from the car
fuck period send
then
another st eds police truck pulled up
i'd never seen then radio for backup
i never knew there was backup
there were like 400 students living on campus
it was small as shit yo

i decided to go back to my room
feldman who? i thought to myself
15 minutes later, a st eds rent a cop
is at my door, holy fuck i think
i answer the door
a cell phone was found
from a supsect who fled the scene
he called the dorm parking lot a scene
i wanted to laugh
i bit my tounge
be cool i thought

turns out feldman had over an once of weed in his car
turns out feldman had over 200 pills of esctacy in his car
turns out feldman's car was registered to him and he had warrents
the shit just got deeper and deeper
i was vague as hell
a friend who left on emergency for a funeral
asked me to let his friend crash the night
i agreed to help him out with my floor
i played it coy
they left me alone after an hour that night

until the next day, i get a letter in my student box
saying i am to report to the sheriff of campus police
campus police has a sheriff, fuck i though
there's a sheriff in town, u know i'm in trouble
i went -- terrified
as well i should be
the guy did a whole song and dance
trying to intimidate me into criminilizing myself
with nothing to criminalize
you could tell this was the biggest shit
the university police had ever seen
they were loving it
eventually he let me go
with nothing more to ask
i dodged all his attempts with great ease
thank you rodney, the lawyer gave me something

feldman ended up getting turned over to austin police
and getting arrested and arained
he ended up having to move to austin
to handle the case, his parole, and court orders
he became like a zitt on my still lightly overweight ass
feldman was hart to get rid of
bastard