her name was mamaw

i was driving
the lincoln...big red boat of a car
she offered a chance i couldnt pass up
i accepted of course
14 years old i think
she well into her 80s
hell yes 2 an opertunity alone w/
my mamaw

we were crusin'
about 17 mph
en route
ruston country club
we used to go the club a lot
back when i used to visit
my mamaw

"sloeeee downnnnnnn"
she says, we're southernirs' mind ya
i look to my left nothing
i fucked up, crashed drivers mistake
i look to my right and see
a stretcher obviously pregnant black woman
"prollly a shootin'" she says
my mamaw

she used to peal my oranges
take me on walks around "the park"
tell me to comb my hair n look my best
sidetrack 2 da story yes i know
but important memories of
my mamaw

so i come to an abrupt stop
and take a moment to take in the scene
she mutters an explitive
somthing i cannot repeat
given my mothers mothers mothers cousin
was a black man
still we'll say NICER 4 the word she used
my mamaw

"NICER, probally a gun shot wound"
she spoke - i shock, dismay, confusion
"NICERs, always shootin' each other"
her words stung to my core
her generation, i maskingly convince
she was my world, top of the tops
my mamaw

"you know what mamaw?"
i ask trepidly
silence
"using the NICE word is kind bad now days"
i continue
"why?" she inquires
"it's what they've always been called"
i sigh
"well now people frown upon it,
times....it...has changed"
i rush to support my statement for
my mamaw

a long silence akward to say the least
she replies "well what should i call 'em"
she asks
my mamaw

I reply, almost instantly
"black, i think black is best now"
i say content to my responce
a very long pause
the longest yet
she is thinking i think
my mamaw

still more silence
then she responds
"ummm brown"
"i think i'll call 'em brown"
"they r much more brown than black"
she says
my mamaw

classic i think
biting my toung
to keep from laughing
she showed me so much
taught me the way
my mamaw