mr barr*

UPDATED 9/06
NOT IMPORTANT
BUT WNATED 2
SHOW THE TWEEKED
MR BAR...

we met today in beverly hills
waiting for the bus after the shrink
i think he noticed me staring at his legs
they were two different sizes
and he made a joke about them to me
i laughed, feeling awkward
i said "what happened?"
i feared

uh-oh i went to far
i had heart surgery he said
they stuck a straight needle in me
just found out they're going 2 do it again
more medical bills, more unnecessary drama
i thought

after an long silence he says
do you like music?
sure i reply, unsure of the direction this is leading
do you know barbra he replied
barbra? i asked yes he said, my first name
i said "i know barbra now" confused
he laughs

no BARBRA streisand, the singer
of course i tell him
he starts talking, wrote a song for her
on the same album as people
she's using it in her latest dvd release
yada yada i thought

we talked about films
he was interested in what i thought
of brokeback mountain and obscure musical films of the 60s
the bus came
we both got on

i paid, to notice him standing
offering me the inside seat next to him
mind if i finish my story he asks
i cannot refuse this 80 year old man with heart problems

we talked the entire way to my stop
an hour at least then he surprises me
wants to get off at my stop
says he has to go the pharmacy
for his new rx for his wounded heart
i pretend to not be weary

he wanted to tell me all about his ex partner
dion mcgregor he tells me...dye-un he pronounces
they wrote music together
dion the lyrics, mr barr wrote the score
we talked broadway shows
and my inept singing abilities

he asks me "what do you do for a living"
an actor i respond quietly, out of the ordinary
normally i say i'm in school studying to be a therapist
mr barr seemed safe, and i spilled the beans
he asks anything he would have seen
no i reply, a lie but could b the truth
do you sing he asks me again
I SIGH, defeated

he repeated a lot of questions, must b the broken heart
i shared with him a treasured story my mamaw
whose death anniversary is days away
and who would have had another birthday today
someone with lots of medical problems
the most dear to my heart in my time on this earth
i felt safe

when we got off at my stop, 1/2 a mile from my house
i started to cross the street to walk my usual routine
he asks "you don't take the bus up the street"
no i reply i prefer the walk myself
i hope he'll take the bus

it's beyond AWKWARD at this point
i have not figured out the purpose of this
he has given me his number
and already invited me to his house
to listen to cds he recorded of his ex's dreams
cds released in the 60s, being made into animation he told
i felt more fear

he insisted on walking with me
i acted the same, thinking just a little longer
with this man of whom i'm so confused
why he's offered to teach me to sing
he guaranteed so
whose been so kind, yet odd at the same time
whose going through heart troubles
just like my beloved mamaw
i walked across santa monica

he followed me, talking at a rapid rate
just as he did on the bus for the past hour
i felt like i said 1 word to his 100, lonely i thought
a few blocks up, his pace noticeably slowed
'are you ok' i asked my companion
just out of breath he replied, you walk face
we were walking at a snails pace, i thought

i offer him a nearby bench, and my 1/2 empty water bottle
he takes both offers and looks defeated
i think what the fuck is wrong you with
making this old man with heart problems
walk this half mile to my house, his pharmacy
I BLAME MYSELF

immediately i attempt to escape
i'm going to have to keep going
i have my alcohol class at 430
and they dont let you in if your late
i fudge the time a bit, ok
he follows me, insisting my offerance
the water bottle etc revived him
and back to his rapid rate of talking
i was shocked and confused

we finished the walk
i to my house north
him to the pharmacy east
we parted ways
shook hands
i said it was excellent meeting him
he the same and reminding me to call him
i thought how he had told me about his medical bills
outrageous and unable to pay he reported
i wanted to help, felt i must help but had yet to offer
and crossed the street to my house
i said goodbye 2 mr barr

NOTHING HAPPENS BY CHANCE,
this i believe in whole heartedly
but what the hell does this mean
are mr barr and i to be friends
did he have a message or
was i just providing company to a lonely old man